Media

2010-10-16T04:40:00.000-07:00

I just want to close my mind off. I watch shitty programs filled with false sentiments designed to make you feel fulfilled in some way. Computer games designed to numb the senses with exaggerated plots of heroism addict me. Music which is emotionally redundant some how creates a small relief in where I can think that someone is saying truths so that I don't have too. Small snippets projected into our minds of a dream which we once may have had.

I'm trapped inside my head. My inability to express myself through writing, drawing or any other artistic outlet sometimes becomes overwhelming. My brain screams with words and thoughts that I want to shout about… but my lips remain silent.

Emotions which surge within me stumble.

I feel that by immersing myself within media as a viewer I can feel a part of it all. But i'm not. All i am is a silent observer. This, I suppose, is similar to anyone who participates in "Reality TV", ironically named because it doesn't represent any form of reality. People voting in the x-factor are the same as people who participate in computer games controlling the outcome of a story. And as much as games try to make you think that you have a choice, you do not. The story, like a movie, is preordained. I suppose the journey is what counts in these games, But i'm not Samus Aran or Solid Snake or Duke Nukem.

I'm just me. A dyslexic. And every word I write is a struggle. Every thought I express has to squeeze through this and my own self inflicted incompetencies.

Maybe by writing this drivel i can learn to express myself more.

First Post.

2010-10-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I've decided to start to try to write stuff down. Like with many of my attempts at finding an expressive outlet, this may last a year, it may last a few weeks or this may be my first and last post.

I don't yet know how successful I will be at putting thoughts to paper, or in this case keyboard, as i've always had a distinct inability to write. I'm not sure where this comes from either. I am dyslexic. But this is something which was diagnosed when I was 21. I've always shied away from writing, always filled with a lack of confidence. My biggest issue is that my brain runs at literally a thousand miles and hour, yet my pen, my speech and my typing crawl along at a snails pace.

I'd like to think that Dyslexia is not my failing when it comes to writing. Now all I need to do is prove it.

G

Random Thoughts

Media

First Post.